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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27733759">All I Have Ever Wanted to Do Is Spend My Life Loving You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/existentialcrisis123/pseuds/existentialcrisis123'>existentialcrisis123</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bisexual Leif Donnelly, M/M, Pansexual Tobin Batra, Tobin is pining - Freeform, also there is like the tiniest bit of zomax in here, i think Tobin and Max should have a really cute friendship so im projecting that here, im sorry in advance i have no plan for this, this is more of tobin's pov but i might switch over to Leif's at somepoint - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 18:29:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,842</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27733759</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/existentialcrisis123/pseuds/existentialcrisis123</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>What would have happened if Tobin confessed his feelings to Leif after their conversation in episode 7</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Tobin Batra &amp; Leif Donnelly, Tobin Batra/Leif Donnelly</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>ahhh hi so i like never actually post what i write but i was feeling kinda good about this so idk</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You’re starting to seem like a liability man,” Tobin’s heart sunk in his chest. “How are we supposed to run this place if people don’t start to take you more seriously?” And now his heart is beating out of his chest. He was almost positive that Leif could hear his heartbeat, actually he was almost positive the entire office could hear his heartbeat. Initially when those words left Leif's lips (the lips that he often catches himself staring at multiple times a day) he was shocked but the shock washed away as quickly as it came, and he just felt love. He felt loved by Leif, and he somehow felt like, if it was possible he loved Leif even more.<br/>
</p>
<p>“You want us to run this place?” There was a softness laced in his voice that even he could hear when he spoke. His voice sounded like it was laced with the overwhelming love that he had felt for his best friend ever since their senior year of high school. Senior year hadn’t been a very eventful year, but he does recall two things, graduation and realizing he had a massive crush on Leif. Tobin had never told Leif how he felt. I mean he had almost a few times. Like freshman year of college when Leif came out to him as Bisexual. Or a year after that when Tobin came out to Leif as Pansexual. Or that one time he got really drunk on Halloween. Oh, and he almost told him back when Leif was super upset about the anonymous peer reviews. The point is that he has almost told him plenty of times. He just never had the courage to say “Leif I am in love with you.” How could one sentence be so scary. Well the sentence isn’t necessarily scary but the idea of Tobin saying it out loud is absolutely terrifying. It was scary for a few different reasons though, like what if Tobin admitted his feelings for Leif but Leif didn’t feel the same way they could never go back to normal, and he would lose his best friend forever. So yeah that can never happen.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Yeah dude. What’s the point of rising if we can’t do it together?” Tobin couldn’t talk; he had completely lost the ability to form a coherent sentence in his head. It’s just that there was this look in Leif’s eyes that he couldn’t quite place but it sent a chill down his spine.<br/>
“How about we focus less on partying and goofing around and a little more on that grind…yeah? All Tobin wanted to do was say, ‘I love you, and you are the best thing that has happened to me. And I don’t deserve you’, but instead all he could do was nod his head. Then Leif motioned for him to give him a hug and Tobin would never pass that opportunity up.<br/>
</p>
<p>Tobin had a realization At that moment wrapped in the arms of the man he loved. He needed to tell him. He couldn’t hold back and hide his emotions and pretend that everything is fine and that he hasn’t been completely in love with his best friend for years. It was time to take the risk, because if Leif was willing to risk his career for Tobin the least Tobin could do was tell him everything.<br/>
</p>
<p>While Tobin walked back to his desk to sit down he was trying very hard to contain the gigantic smile that was on his face. Zoey still noticed it, but she just gave him a kind smile and went back to work. For the next hour Tobin was brainstorming what he was going to say to Leif and how he was going to say it. I mean if he was going to profess his undying love for Leif it was going to be perfect, it has to be perfect. Still Tobin can’t seem to crack it. He doesn't want to do anything too big but it also can’t be too small. He wants it to be intimate but also be able to escape if things go badly. Wow, he never really anticipated it was going to be this hard to plan. To be fair he never really anticipated on planning it he always assumed that it was just gonna slip out one day when Tobin got back to their apartment and Leif was wearing his bisexual disaster apron that Tobin had jokingly gotten him a few years ago. He never actually thought that he would wear it, but he wears it whenever he cooks or bakes which always puts a smile on Tobin’s face. He was quickly drawn out of his thoughts when a crumpled up piece of paper hit him in the face.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Hey, Tobin, are you good?” Max asked, looking at him with a slightly confused and concerned glance.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Uh, your mom thought so last night,” he quickly quipped, hoping that no one else has noticed that he has been staring into space and not doing any work for the past hour.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Yeah I figured, anyways, I’m going on a coffee run do you want anything?” Yes Tobin was definitely going to need caffeine if he was going to find the best way to confess his feelings to Leif. Then he remembers that Max has been in love with Zoey, his best friend since as long as they have both worked here. Maybe Max will have some actually useful advice on how to handle this situation. Although asking Max for help would mean that he has to come out to him, considering he wasn’t really out at work. He figured it was none of their business, so he never made a public, “Oh yeah by the way I’m Pansexual,” speech because he didn’t think it was necessary. If someone at work asked him what his sexuality was he would respond honestly but most people just assume he is straight and tend to ask him other questions like, “Why are you like this?” He gets that one a lot, and he always answers. Tobin will reveal anything about his life but you have to actually ask him first.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Yeah bro, is it cool if I come with you? I need some fresh air and I can help you carry the drinks and stuff back.” Max quickly gave Zoey a confused glance, and she just responded with a small smile and shrug of her shoulders.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Uh yeah sure, thanks man.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tobin and Max talk about what it is like to be hopelessly in love with their best friends.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hiiiii ok im sorry this took so long my life has been actually kind of insane but that is besides the point. i ended up writing way more zomax in this chapter(i wasn't planning  on writing any really) but  i hope you enjoy! also here i drew some pan Tobin bi Leif fanart <br/>https://existential-crisis123.tumblr.com/post/636968377929334784/so-i-did-some-zoeys-extraordinary-playlist-fan-art</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tobin and Max make casual small talk during the elevator ride down and the walk through the lobby. Nothing of any particular interest is said by either of them, which is probably a good thing considering Tobin felt like he was going to explode. He wouldn’t be able to remember anything from this conversation as soon as they actually started talking about what Tobin wanted to talk about.  As they made it out the main doors of SPRQ Point and onto the sidewalk there was a lull in the conversation and Tobin took it as his chance to start what he expected to be at first a painfully awkward conversation.</p><p>“So bro…,” Tobin started not entirely sure where to even begin. Max just gives him a quizzical look waiting for Tobin to finish his thought. “I-uh, is it cool if I ask your advice on some personal stuff?” Tobin rubs his hand over the back of his neck and Max shoots him an even more confused look.</p><p>“Uh yeah, sure dude, but wouldn’t you rather talk about this with Leif. I’m not saying I don’t want to talk, it’s just that he knows you better than I do, so I'm just confused on why you want to talk to me.” Tobin looked down at the sidewalk and watched as his sneakers hit the pavement with each step he took. He didn’t have it in him to make eye contact while trying to decide what to say.</p><p>“Yeah, um well, actually this is something that I do want to talk to Leif about, but it’s also kind of about Leif. I just need some advice first and I know that you have been in the same situation.” Tobin said, giving a small shoulder shrug, trying not to look as desperate as he was feeling. Because when he thought about it, telling Leif how he felt wasn't as easy as just saying it. The more Tobin thinks about telling Leif, the more nervous and desperate he starts to feel. Max had never seen such desperation on Tobin’s face before and was immediately extremely concerned. Usually it seemed like Tobin ate a bowl of confidence for breakfast but right now he just seemed scared. Something was clearly bothering him and there wasn’t a lot that could get under Tobin’s skin, and if something did he would never let it show. Thankfully they had just reached the door of the Golden Gate Grind. Max pulled open the door and quickly dragged Tobin to sit at a table next to the window that was a little more secluded than the others. </p><p> Tobin and Max sat across each other, Tobin’s eyes clearly showing how shocked he was from seeing how concerned Max is considering they have never been the closest of friends. Max started to talk a mile a minute and honestly Tobin was still confused.</p><p>“Tobin, what’s going on? Are you okay? Is something wrong? Are you sick? Oh, god, are-”</p><p>“Woah woah, just breathe dude.” Tobin says attempting to calm down a clearly stressed out Max. </p><p>“Sorry, sorry this isn’t about me, this is about you. It’s just that I have never seen you so…not yourself. So, what’s going on?” Tobin stares down into his lap for a moment before taking a deep breath and meeting Max’s gaze.</p><p>“Um, yeah, okay. I’m not entirely sure how to start but, so I’m like pan. Uh pansexual, that is uh, in case you didn’t know. Which I mean you probably didn't because I don’t usually talk about it at work, but whatever that’s not even the problem. But I fig-”</p><p>“Woah okay now you're the one that’s rambling,” Max interrupts and Tobin realizes he hasn’t taken a breath since he started talking. “Okay, take a deep breath and keep going.” Max says keeping the tone of his voice soft and calm. Tobin looks at Max with a grateful expression, and takes a deep breath.</p><p>“Okay, um well, I'm kinda, sorta, definitely one hundred and ten percent in love with Leif and  have been for a really long time.” Max is quiet for a moment, not letting his emotions be read across his face. </p><p>“Oh” Max has genuine surprise laced in his voice. “I…okay, okay… sorry, keep going, I'm assuming there is more to it than you just being…in love…with Leif.” Max said nodding his head a little and motioning for Tobin to continue.</p><p>“Right, so I'm in love with him, and I have been for like a really really long time. Like an unhealthy amount of time to be in love with your best friend. Like way longer than you have been in love with Zoey. Anyways-</p><p>“Wow that is a really long ti-, wait a second, who said I was in love with Zoey?” Max says trying to keep the panic in his voice from rising as he realizes what Tobin said.</p><p>“No one bro, but I mean it's kind of obvious to everyone, well except for Zoey. No offense but she seems pretty oblivious.</p><p>“Well she just has a lot going on right now and- wait. Stop changing the subject Tobin. We are not here to discuss my problems. Tobin sighed, wondering if Max would be fine, just forgetting that any of this ever happened. “Dude come on, talk to me. I promise I will not judge you at all. Tobin nods his head and begins to speak because he can’t hold all of this in anymore.</p><p>“I need to tell him because I feel like if I don’t I might explode. And I know that you have some experience in this department, you know, pining after your best friend for years.” Tobin takes a pause and looks at the sympathetic expression on Max’s face before continuing. “I just thought that you would be able to help because…because I’m desperate, and I don’t know what to do. Usually the only person I trust with my feelings is Leif, but I can’t tell him because what if he hates me? Or what if I make him feel uncomfortable? I wouldn’t be able to handle that. I just want Leif to be happy, even if it means that I’m unhappy. But at the same time it feels like I need to tell him. What if telling him how I feel makes him upset. I would never be able to live with myself knowing he felt upset, or uncomfortable, or embarrassed because of me.” Tobin was getting more and more worked up, and he felt like he was going to cry, and he was trying really hard not to. He stared into his lap feeling embarrassed, not wanting to have to look Max in the eye. He just wanted to go home and curl up into a ball on the couch and never get up.</p><p>Max was quiet for a second as he tried to take in all the information that Tobin had just spewed at him. He understood the emotions Tobin was feeling, the only difference was that he had started to lose hope for telling Zoey how he felt when her dad started getting sick, He didn’t want to be a burden to her while she was going through it, so he decided he was just going to be the supportive best friend that she needed. But Tobin didn’t have to do that. He didn’t have to push aside his feelings because his best friend’s dad is slowly dying.</p><p>“You have to tell him Tobin.” Tobin’s ears perk up, and he looks at Max. It is painfully obvious that he has tears welling in his eyes. “You deserve it, you shouldn’t have to hide your feelings for him, especially because I can tell how strongly you love him. And yeah, I can’t promise he is going to feel the same way, but he might and that possibility is worth giving it a shot.” Tobin wipes his eyes on his sleeve and nods his head.</p><p>“Okay… I will tell him.” He says sniffling a little.</p><p>“Hey Tobin, don’t be scared if there's anything I know about Leif it’s that the only person he will ever be truly loyal to is you.” Tobin thought back to his earlier conversation with Leif, even though it hadn’t felt like Leif was doing what he was doing to help them both, he was. Leif has never been good with words, at least not when they mean something. Leif trying to make big strides at work to help him and Tobin rise up at SPRQ Point is just his way of showing Tobin that he cares. </p><p>“It's just what I am supposed to say. I can’t just say, ‘Oh, by the way I have been in love with you since we were seventeen.” A small laugh escapes Max’s lips, and he just shakes his head.</p><p>“Honestly dude, I have no idea. I haven’t exactly made it that far with Zoey, but maybe try doing something for him. Hasn’t he been really stressed at work lately, you could get him something that he really likes or maybe make him his favorite foods or something? I guess just do whatever feels right for you and him.”</p><p>“Oh yeah I could plan like a movie night with all of his favorite movies and I could pick up his favorite snacks, oh, and order food from that new Mexican place that he really likes.” Max has a big smile on his face because Tobin is getting excited like a little kid on Christmas day.</p><p>“I’m really glad that I could help dude, and thanks for trusting me with all of this.” Tobin smiles back. It's clear how relieved he is feeling, he looks much more relaxed.</p><p>“Yeah bro, thanks for actually listening and being helpful. I know that I’m not always the easiest to deal with, but I really appreciate your help. And you can totally come to me anytime if you need to talk or something.” </p><p>“Thanks man. We should probably get everyone's coffee orders and get out of here before they think we either got lost or went missing.” A laugh escaped Tobin’s lips.</p><p>“Dude, I totally forgot that was why we were even here.” They both stand up and get in line, Max pulling up the list of orders he had written down on his phone. While they are standing in line, Tobin turns to Max. “Hey, can I ask you something?</p><p>“Uh, yeah, sure. What’s up?” Max says turning his head to face Tobin.</p><p>“Well you don't have to answer, it’s pretty personal, so I won’t be upset if you don’t want to answer. But, why haven’t you told Zoey about how you feel?” Max looks down at his shoes for a second and puts his hands in his pocket. He takes a deep breath as he turns back to look at Tobin with a small smile on his face.</p><p>“A while back I was feeling the same way you are feeling now. Like if I didn't tell her I would explode, but then her dad got diagnosed and everything changed. I realized as soon as she called me crying, telling me what was happening that I couldn’t tell her. To overwhelm her with my feelings when she already feels out of control would be selfish of me. I love her, and because I love her I am willing to stand by her side, be there when she needs me, and wait for her.” Tobin had always known that Max had a crush on Zoey, hell the entire office knew, well, except for Zoey, who seemed totally oblivious. He never truly realized how deeply in love with her, he was. Max felt about Zoey, the way that Tobin felt about Leif.</p><p>“Wow, you really, really love her. I get that, though, willing to wait. Leif has been so busy with work lately and I know he is stressed out of his mind about the Chirp. I just don’t want to be the reason he cracks under pressure. That’s actually why I wanted to talk to you because I knew you were kind of in the same boat as me.”</p><p>“Honestly Tobin,” Max pauses, trying to find the right words to say. “I don’t know for certain because Leif is pretty good at lying and not letting human emotion show, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he felt the same way about you.” Tobin looked at Max with wide eyes. Max could see a glimmer of hope and love, like he could look directly into Tobin’s soul, just for a second.”</p><p>“You really think so?” Tobin tried not to sound too excited or happy, but it was hard to contain. He has been so focused on not getting his hopes up, that he hasn’t really ever considered the prospect that Leif could actually feel the same way about him.</p><p>“Yeah, honestly, I'm still half convinced that Leif is part robot, no offense. But if there is one thing I do know about him, it’s that he cares about you more than he cares about anyone else.” Tobin knew that Leif could come off a little robotic and emotionless at times, but he knew Leif more than anyone else did. He sees Leif whenever he has a breakdown after a really stressful day at work or when he cries during sad movies. He was the only one that had the privilege of seeing Leif being himself with his guard fully down because Leif trusted him.</p><p>“I know he can come across as a little cold and power driven, but his secret is that he feels things really deeply. That’s part of the reason why he took those anonymous peer reviews so hard. He is just not very good at expressing his full feelings in words. He uses his actions to express them more because it's easier for him.” Max stares at Tobin for a moment with his mouth slightly agape.</p><p>“You guys really know each other inside and out. Like I have always known that you guys are extremely close, but I don’t think I ever fully really realized what that meant.” Tobin smiles thinking about his gorgeous best friend and how lucky he is to have him.</p><p>Before Tobin could respond, it was their turn to order all the coffee and pastries that everyone had requested. On the way back to the office they balanced multiple coffee trays and bags of pastries on their hands and continued to have a lighthearted conversation about how hopelessly in love they were with their best friends. When they are riding the elevator back up to the fourth floor when Max turns to Tobin.</p><p>“So, when are you gonna tell him? A small smile forms on Tobin's face as he turns his head towards Max.</p><p>“Actually, I think I’m gonna tell him tonight when he gets back to the apartment. I was gonna plan a movie night or order a bunch of his favorite foods but I think instead I'm going to keep it simple. I don't want to overwhelm him."</p><p>“You know that if you need to talk more about this kind of stuff just let me know, oh and let me know how things go tonight.” Tobin smiles, like a genuine smile, not a weird douche bag, smirk or anything like that.</p><p>“Yeah I definitely will keep you updated and take you up on that offer. Also, let me know if you ever want to talk about stuff that’s going on with you and Zoey. I will happily be all ears, because I don’t think I can ever repay you after the way that you helped me out today, bro.” The elevator dinged, alerting them that they had arrived at their destination. They pass out the coffee orders and Tobin grabs his and Leif’s orders and his tablet and goes to join him in the conference room where he is still working. Max sits down at his desk and watches Tobin and Leif as they both get huge smiles on their faces when they see each other. He is pulled out of his thoughts by Zoey's voice.</p><p>"So, did you survive?" She says in a joking tone with a smirk.</p><p>"Uh yeah it actually was much different than I was expecting, but we had a nice time." Zoey raised her eyebrow at Max it was clear he was with holding information from her but she decided not to pry at the situation considering she was behind on her work.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>ok so i hope you liked it. i really don't know when the next chapter is gonna come out but hopefully it will be sooner rather than later. please leave a kudos and comment :) also i have a fluffy christmas one shot idea so maybe that will come out soonish too</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i hope you liked it there will be more coming hopefully but i don't have a solid schedule because life is really crazy rn</p></blockquote></div></div>
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